I am confused till today

he was there, but not now.

time just like a river.

2012（maybe 2010?）, cats jumped into my river.

we swum together.

in the never stop river,

some stones in our way.

we got hurt sometime, 

but we can't stop.

because the river keep pushing us.

nevertheless, we swum together.

until the day, 07/14/2015,

 CHI-BAO tired.

he wanted to take a break.

so he stopped.

i want to stop to wait for him.

but river keep pushing  me.

i want to stop, and hold him in my arm.

he can ride on the back of me.

but river keep pushing  me.

he left behind me.

i look back,

look at his eyes.

he look at me, too.

the moment, we know,

 it's the last time.

we can't swum together anymore.

they always came to me, but now, one of them has gone, not came to me anymore.

i hated live with animals. my mom, too.

but cats never mind.

they still came to me, came to my mom.

when I getting sick, when I working,  when I sleeping, when I did everything.

they always came to me, stand by my side.

first, CHI-BAO, and then, JU-Z.

even if I hated them, they still came, and "meow" to me.

some company should paid me money, but they didn't.

i cried for it every day.

and they always stand in front of me,

looked at me by their big eyes.

"i'm hungry, give me some food."

yes.

I could read their voice from their eyes.

they didn't care about my tears.

but, their eyes reminded me that tear wasn't best solution.

I have to pull myself together.

I loss some money,

but life won't wait for me to take it back.

life, time, everything still running.

if I keep fall into the bad thing,

I will loss more.

sadness couldn't feed us.

food could.

so I have to stand up and get rid of the bad things.

cats reminded me that.

cats make me stronger.

but, now, I loss one of them.

and loss some brave.

the time when we met

he was my cat, now, he's god's cat.

his name is CHI-BAO.

he dead 07/14/2015.

I'm not sure how old was he, because I'm not the first owner.

the first owner married, moved, so many reason make him ask my sister "could you keep my cats?"

ya, cats.

not only CHI-BAO, but also a cute girl "JU-Z".

I live with my sister, so, my sister have to ask me.

"could we keep the cats?"

"why? i don't want to live with cats." I don't agree at the first time.

Because I've never live with a animal before!

"they can't clean their ass after they get out from toilet, it's disgusting."

"okay."my sister said.

but, the winter come.

becoming cold soon.

"they live in mountain, but they can't sleeping in door."my sister said.

"why?" i asked.

"because the owner's wife won't."

so, i keep them.

"they can sleep in our house, but not my room. i don't want to sleep with them."

"okay. thanks."my sister agreed, and tried to do well.

but she failed.

because the cats were very smart.

they always slipped into my room when i didn't know.

cats always do this.

they always.

so  naughty, but so cute.

when i notice, i have became a person can't lose her cats.

difficult english

My English isn't very good, but I still decide to writing by English here.

I want to record that how I miss my cat.

But if I write by Chinese, the word gonna touch my heart that I start to cry.

and English is too difficult to me.

so, when I write, I have to check the dictionary, or think, think how describe my feeling.

thinking, thinking, keep thinking, thinking about every difficult things, so I don't cry.

my brain gonna so busy that i have no time to cry.

how to use blogger?

i used so much taiwan blog,
but, it's my first time to use a foreign one.
so, test, test.